In 2014, after a long battle with cancer, I witnessed my grandpa take his last breath with my grandma by his side. It was one of the most beautiful and profound experiences of my life; I got to be present when he stepped in to restful peace.
This week, our family lost an amazing light but this feeling is not profound or beautiful. It hurts like nothing I’ve felt, it’s dark, confusing, uncontrollable, and deep. When someone chooses to take their own life, nothing can prepare you for what comes after.
I’ve known struggle in many ways. Through the depression, anxiety, self hatred, poverty, homelessness, failure, suppression, post-partum depression, losing myself, failing marriage, autoimmune disease, loss, and now grief…I believe I’ve been placed in this darkness so that I may better serve others.
I’ve seen this past week that you can have the answers before the questions but the guilt and doubt and numbness still come. I’ve learned that regardless of peace, some things still shake your soul.
I sit presently, vulnerable in this space of grief, knowing that there is light here and that when I come out the other side I will be ready to more fully serve others if they ever walk this path.
If you need support in your healing journey or just someone to hold space for you, book your free discovery call with me today. I know this road is a tough one, you don’t have to do it alone.